FDV Information

Useful FDV information will be placed on this page with a list of links, (as below), to the different sections of information contained on the page. 

 

¨ An Explanation of Family & Domestic Violence

¨ Safety Planning

¨ The Effects of Family & Domestic Violence on Women & Children

¨ Stages Women go through…..

 

AN EXPLANATION OF FAMILY & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

Family and domestic violence is when one person intentionally uses threats, force or intimidation to control and manipulate the other person. It can only happen in relationships where the balance of power is unequal.

 

DEFINITION:

 

“Domestic violence is considered to be behaviour, which results in physical, sexual and/or psychological damage, forced social isolation, economic deprivation, or behaviour which causes the victim to live in fear.”

 

Family and domestic violence occurs in a variety of relationships including:

 

• children’s violence towards parents (usually involving adolescent children)

 

• violence and abuse to older people from a partner, carer, child, or other family member (elder  abuse)

 

• violence and abuse within same sex relationships

 

• violence and abuse between other family members, including nuclear and extended family members.

 

Family and Domestic Violence is a gendered crime which is when one sex is most likely to be the target of a particular crime and the other is most likely to be the offender.  FDV can be described as a gendered crime. The American Psychological Society (1996) identified the greatest risk factor in being a victim of FDV as being female.

 

 

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples generally prefer the term ‘family violence’. This concept describes a matrix of harmful, violent and aggressive behaviours and is considered to be more reflective of an Indigenous world view of community and family. Indigenous women and children bear the brunt of family violence. Family and domestic violence occurs between partners who are married, de facto or otherwise emotionally connected, ex partners and any family members. This includes young people’s dating relationships and people who are in a relationship but do not live together.

 

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Some forms of family and domestic violence are generally well recognised by the community. Physical violence such as hitting and kicking is understood by many people to be domestic violence. Other forms of family and domestic violence tend to be less well recognised and understood.

 

When domestic violence is occurring in a relationship, more than one form of abuse is usually present. Some victims are never physically abused but experience a range of other behaviour designed to control and intimidate them. Victims of violence often say that physical injuries heal and it’s the emotional scars that hurt the most. While emotional abuse can occur without other types of violence, physical abuse rarely exists on its own – emotional/psychological abuse and controlling behaviours are almost always present.

 

“He never actually hit me. He intimidated me through gestures, looks, telling me I was useless, telling me I was a bitch or a slut. He drove my friends away by being rude to them. All he had to do was look at me in a certain way and I would start shaking.”

 

Family and domestic violence includes:

 

• Sexual abuse – demands for sex when one person does not want to participate, threats of physical violence during sex, rape, being forced to watch sexual acts or pornography, being forced to do things one person does not want to do.

 

• Emotional/Psychological abuse – humiliation, threats, insults, harassment, playing mind games, accusing their partner of having an affair, denying or minimising the abuse, blaming the victim for the abuse.

 

•  Verbal abuse - put downs, insults, name calling, swearing.

 

• Social abuse – controlling access to family and friends, controlling use of the telephone, isolating their partner from others, not allowing their partner to have a job or other interests outside the home, forbidding their partner to go out, wanting to know where their partner is all the time.

 

• Physical abuse – punching, choking, pushing, shoving, kicking, hair pulling, throwing and smashing objects, injuring pets, damaging property and the threat of all of these.

 

• Economic abuse – controlling the household income, not allowing money for personal use, not allowing their partner access to bank accounts. Family and domestic violence also includes other forms of control, such as making decisions for their partner and excessive jealousy.

 

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SAFETY PLANNING

 

Safety is the most important issue for people who are experiencing family and domestic violence. There are lots of ways that people in a violent relationship can increase their safety. When victims contact support agencies staff work with them to increase their awareness of safety issues and assist them to prepare safety plans. A sample safety plan is provided below.

 

Safety at home:

• Tell a friend or neighbour about the violence and develop a plan with them for when you need help.

Tell someone you trust about your situation.

• Look for patterns in your partner’s behaviour that will alert you to dangerous times.

• Find safer areas of the house where there are escape routes and no weapons (eg leave kitchen – weapons, or bathroom – no escape route). Try to move to safer areas when you have a feeling that something is about to happen. Also, avoid moving into areas where children are located as it may put them at risk too.

• Practice with your children what to do when violence occurs – where to go, who to tell, how to call the police. Plan a code word to tell them that they should get help or leave the house.

• Tell your children that they are not responsible for the violence and reassure them that their job is to stay safe; they should not try to intervene to protect you in any way. Teach your children that violence is never right, even when someone they love is being violent.

• Know who to call in an emergency – have the phone numbers handy. Do not be afraid to call the police. Know where the nearest pay phone is.

• Have a spare set of car keys and some money hidden in a safe place in case you need to escape quickly.

• Keep a diary about the violence and abuse, noting dates, events and threats if possible.

• Remember your safety is important and you are not to blame.

 

Safety when preparing to leave:

• Open a savings account in your own name. Put spare money in it if you can.

• Leave money, keys, copies of important documents, clothes and children’s toys with someone you trust or in a safe place so you can leave quickly.

• Determine who you could stay with or lend you some money.

• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave.

• Remember – leaving is the most dangerous time.

• Contact Crisis Care or the Police or a FDV advocacy service and find out about laws and other resources available to you before you have to use them.

 

Safety in your own home once the perpetrator is not there:

• Change the locks on your doors and windows; install sensor lighting and get an answering machine so incoming calls can be vetted.

• Talk to the police about a duress alarm and consider taking out a Violence Restraining Order.

· Teach your children a safety plan for when you are not with them.

· Call on family or a friend to stay with you.

• Inform your child’s school, day care etc about who has permission to pick up your children.

• Let your friends and neighbours know about your situation and develop a plan with them for when you need help. This may include a signal such as turning the outside light on even during the day or asking them to call the police if they see your partner near your home.

· Call the police if you are in danger.

 

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THE EFFECTS OF FAMILY & DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

Women

Family and domestic violence has severe and persistent effects on women’s wellbeing, physical and mental health.

 

Physical and mental health problems experienced by female victims of family and domestic violence include:

• injury as a result of violence – family and domestic violence is the most common cause of injury to women

• stress

• anxiety

• depression and psychiatric illness

• chronic pain eg headaches, neck pain

• phobias

• sleeping problems

• eating disorders

• pregnancy complications eg miscarriage, low birth weight babies

• increased use of alcohol and other drugs

• more likely to suicide.

 

“I didn’t realise that my constant headaches and exhaustion were because of the abuse until after I’d left him and sorted my life out under my own rules and to meet my needs. I rarely get headaches now.”

 

Children

Family violence hurts kids too… even if they don’t see it.

 

“My Dad hits my mum and yells. If he didn’t we could be happy like other families”

 

West Australian research shows that children were present in 73% of domestic violence incidents (Joondalup Family Violence Court Report). Children are sometimes called the ‘silent victims’ of domestic violence. Recent evidence clearly shows that living in a family where a parent is being abused – whether or not the children are physically abused themselves – has significant traumatic effects on children and poses significant threats to their emotional, cognitive and social development. Children have varying responses, which can include emotional, behavioural and psychological difficulties in both the short and long term. Children living in homes where domestic violence is present are more likely to have difficulties some of which include:

 

• nervous and withdrawn behaviour

• anxiety

• adjustment problems, poor school performance

• low self esteem

• regressive behaviours, such as bedwetting

• restlessness

• psychosomatic illnesses

• excessive cruelty to animals

• aggressive language and behaviour

• social problems including poor peer relations, poor social problem

solving skills and few social interests

· mental health problems both as children and adults.

 

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THE STAGES WOMEN GO THROUGH

The following has been inserted as an example until the “Stages…” information  is available.

 

Why people don’t leave abusive relationships

 

It is a common and powerfully dominant myth that “if a woman doesn’t like it she can leave”. It can be difficult to understand why people experiencing family and domestic violence remain in the relationship or do not seek help.

 

Studies consistently show that compared with victims of other forms of violence, victims of family and domestic violence are:

 

• less likely to disclose

• less likely to report to the police

• less likely to go to court

• less likely to seek support

• less likely to name the act as violence.

 

There are many reasons why women may choose to stay, or find it difficult to leave abusive relationships. The barriers to leaving are real, not imagined. Many women who are victims of violence experience prejudice, marginalisation and further isolation – making it more difficult to access services (Women’s Safety Survey, ABS, 1996). The fear of what their partner will do if they leave is verified by research – one quarter of intimate partner homicides occur between separated or divorced couples, confirming this is a high-risk period. (Mouzos and Rushforth, 2003).

 

“My Mum told me that if she could live with it, so could I. I don’t know how she survived the years of beatings – I didn’t think I could, but her telling me that somehow made me feel like I should just put up with it. Maybe I would have left years earlier if someone had supported me.”

 

Barriers to women leaving abusive relationships include:

 

• Community attitudes – that what happens in the home is private, that “she must have deserved it” or that “if she didn’t like it she could leave”.

• Shame and embarrassment.

• Previous experiences of negative responses to disclosing abuse – by friends/family, police, doctor, workplace etc.

• Loss of confidence and self esteem.

• Fear of what the perpetrator will do – many women are threatened that if they leave their partner will kill them, take the children, commit suicide.

• Belief or fear that no one will believe them or take them seriously.

· Practical barriers to independent functioning – some women are kept from learning English, learning to drive or even from going shopping. 

· Finding alternative accommodation is a real concern, particularly in the current housing market.

• Economic dependence on partner – many women have no income and do not know how they and their children will survive if they leave, this includes Visa and Australian residency issues.

• Isolation – many abused women have been systematically isolated and have lost contact with friends and family – this leaves them without emotional support.

• Some women minimise the abuse, or hope that “this time will be the last time”.

• Emotional attachment to their partner – most women want the violence to end, not the relationship.

• Fear that seeking help will lead to the removal of their children.

• Belief that it is in the best interests of the children to stay in the relationship – for financial reasons, to live with their Dad.

 

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